Is you little about to turn 4-months old and are you concerned about the "Four Month Sleep Regression? Read on!
Let's discuss the topic of the Four Month Regression that you've been learning about.
As a new mom or a mom that is well experienced in this thing called “Motherhood”, you probably hear “sleep regression” a lot. You may have even defined your own definition of “sleep regression”. I bet you defined it around the time your little was around 4 months of age. Some may have even defined it at 8 months, 9 months or even 12 months of age. Or maybe you defined it when your little one started teething, hit a major development milestone or possibly when they hit a major growth spurt. No matter WHEN or WHAT was happening when you defined it, you and many other moms could strongly agree that SOMETHING happens at 4 months. It is just a matter of understanding what is happening and what it is you need to do to address it. When I talk with clients, I inform them that I refer to this phase as the “Four Month Progression” and I’ll explain why shortly.
But for now, let’s get a better understanding of what happens with sleep in general. There are different stages of sleep that we all go through. Some may say there are 4 stages of sleep, and some may say there are 5 stages of sleep. I’ll go ahead and break them down in 5 stages.
Stage 1 has been known as the “twilight” stage of sleep. We are all in very light sleep during this stage, where we are usually drifting off and can easily be awakened. This happens within the first 5-20 mins of falling asleep. This is the stage when you are watching a movie with your spouse or partner and you see their head over there bobbling or you hear the beginning of a slight snore, you nudge them and their response is “I wasn’t sleeping”.
Stage 2 is known as the “true sleep stage”. During stage 2 we are still in a light sleep, however we may not be aware of our surroundings. Our body temperature adjusts, our eye movement slows down or in some cases movement comes to a complete stop, and our heart rate and breathing becomes steady. This is the recommended stage when taking power naps.
Stage 3 begins the “deep sleep”. Our brain waves slow down, our immune systems are being restored and our muscles begin to relax. It is usually difficult for us to be woken up during this stage.
During stage 4 we go into an even “deeper” sleep than stage 3. This is often known as “slow wave” sleep. It tends to be more difficult to wake us during this stage as well. It has been led to believe that hormones are released to help with growth and our tissues go through a repair phase.
Stage 5 is the final stage of sleep, which is also known as “REM'' rapid eye movement. Our eyes move fast behind our eyelids and our breathing becomes shallow and rapid.
Our bodies will feel heavy and paralyzed. This is the stage where we drift off into our dreams. We will enter this stage within 60-90 of us being asleep.
You will notice some experts combine the activities that take place in Stage 3 and 4 into one stage, which gives you the 4 Stages of Sleep. We will usually revert to stage 3 at some point prior to going into stage 5 and we will usually wake up 2-5 times throughout the night, sometimes we may not even remember that we did wake up.
Now how does this apply to a newborn, you ask?
Newborns will have 2 stages of sleep, stage 3 and stage 5 (REM), in which they spend half of their sleep time in each stage. Around 3-4 months of age, this is when their sleep will begin to reorganize and they are introduced to stage 4 of sleep, which they will have for the remainder of their lives. When this transition occurs, your little one will shift from 50% REM sleep to 25% to allow space for the first two stages. REM sleep is too a light stage of sleep, however not as light as stage 1 and 2. Our little ones begin to spend more time in these lighter stages which means there is a more likely chance of them waking up.
Now this isn’t something we can technically avoid, it is going to happen. Waking up is a natural thing that will happen, and it can happen numerous times throughout the night. We even do it as adults and even more frequently as we get up there in age. The difference between us as adults and our littles ones, is that we recognize that we are awake and that it is still nighttime. We know how to put ourselves back to sleep and in many cases it can be fairly quickly. Those are the moments that we are actually aware of, there are times when we wake up and it's so quick and brief, we hardly remember we even woke up.
A 4-month old has not yet established these critical thinking skills yet. They may wake up and realize that mom is not nursing him, dad is not bouncing or rocking him or the pacifier is no longer in his mouth. Now that they have realized what they last recalled to help them fall asleep or something may seem unfamiliar to them, they may start freaking out. This will trigger a fight-or-flight response and now your little one is awake and trying to figure out what is going on.
The major contributor that I have discovered during the “regression” phase is that parents have been using what many of us sleep consultants and coaches call are “sleep props”. This could be mom nursing or dad bottle feeding, being rocked to sleep or having to have a pacifier or soother before they feel comfortable dozing off.
As mentioned previously, our little one is spending more time during the lighter sleep stages, so there is a higher probability they will wake up in the middle of the night and more frequently. This is where the frustration begins to get more intense for families. The sleep props may be what works for you to get your little down initially, just know when they wake up in the middle of the night, they will be expecting those same sleep props to help get them back to sleep.
The great thing about this not so exciting phase of your little one’s sleep journey is that this is not so much a regression, however this is the “progression” I previously mentioned. As your little one will continue to do, they are progressing through the various stages of sleep.
Now the question is, how do you help your little one adjust?
First things first, try to make your little one’s room or whichever room they are sleeping in as dark as possible. Do not hold back, do what you need to do to make it dark, even if that means placing a sheet or garbage bags over the windows, purchasing some black out curtain….make that baby’s room DARK!
Don’t worry newborns and infants are not at the point where they can be afraid of the dark. They will, however, respond to light. Light is what triggers the brain that it is time to be alert and begin activity, which triggers your brain to release the respective hormones. So again let’s try to make that room as dark as possible. We want to try to keep the room as dark as possible during naps and bedtime.
In addition to keeping the room dark, you also need to be mindful of noise. Doorbell rings from an Amazon delivery, dog barking because they see another dog outside, your other kiddos racing around the house, your husband coughing or sneezing. While your little one is sleeping during the lighter sleep stages, noises can tend to startle them very easily leading to waking them up. I recommend having a white noise machine in the room. It's ok to have a white noise machine, because it can be on as long as your baby is sleeping.
The bedtime routine is a very important factor in getting your little one to sleep well. Your bedtime routine should be 4 to 5 steps and it should NOT end with a feeding. When ending with a feed you run the risk of a feeding becoming a sleep prop, because your little one will become heavily dependent on it to fall asleep, which is what we mentioned earlier.
Try to ensure the feeding is done at the beginning of the routine, then you can consider wipe down, a song, read a story and finish off with PJs. The bedtime routine should last about 20-30 minutes, followed by placing your little one in the bed awake. If you notice your little one is pretty fussy before bed, they are likely overtired and you may have waited too long to put your little one down. At the age of four months, they should have a wake window of about two hours and should be going down for bed between 7:00 pm and 8:00 pm.
This is not to say or negate the fact that your little one will have regressions later on during childhood. Sleep patterns can change and be impacted by travel, sickness or even teething. Now for this well known four month sleep regression phase, this will pass and it's a one-time thing. Once you have gotten past this phase, your little one will have officially transitioned into the sleep cycle that they will have for the rest of their lives.
By helping them establish these healthy sleep habits now, without the sleep props and ability to sleep independently, you have given one of the best gifts that they will truly grow to appreciate throughout life.
This will be easy for some and a little more challenging for others. For those that are struggling, I am more than welcome to help you out. I offer a free 20 min call, Meet 'N' Greet to get a few specifics on the challenges you may be having. Book a call now so we can get you your nights back and have your little one sleeping through the night independently.
Hello, I am Shannon, founder of Dreamy Slumber Pediatric Sleep Consulting. I am a wife and working mom of 3 and a certified Pediatric Sleep Coach. I started Dreamy Slumber in 2020 following the success of sleep training my oldest son and knowing and understanding the importance and value of sleep training, especially at a young age. My husband and I have been married for 6 years. In addition to supporting families with establishing and maintaining healthy sleep habits for their little ones, I also work in corporate American. So as a working mom and a business owner I know how daunting things can be when you are sleep deprived and trying to save the world at the same time. Let's connect and work together so you can your family can sleep in peace.
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